August 8, 2006                                                    Sunny

Long time no write a diary, it’s a long time after the end of tests. As usual I went back to my mother town, live a lazy life and do some automatic actions. Of course I met some friends, played with them and fool around all day long. But I got a job unfortunately, so I have to spend 4 hours a day in doing this stuff, that really annoyed me because that meant I’ve no time in playing PC games with my friend. However something bad also have something good in the other side. I saved some money in games and spent more time in learning and entertaining. This entertainment is totally different with PC games playing, that’s basketball! Now every two or three days I’ll go to play basketball with my brother. That’s what I never imagined before I was back home. I want my body strong, and taller. But just after about 10 times I played, my favorite shoes wore broken. I was shock because I don’t have any RMB to buy a new one and my mother seems don’t have the least inclination to offer me a brand new. So maybe in the next few days I’ve to give up my basketball plan.

By the way, I hated my mother. I hate her seeing me have no money and didn’t give me a little. I hate her seeing my broken shoes and didn’t realize to buy me a new one. Once I said I wanted to buy a pair of shoes, then she went shopping with me, but every time I got into a shoeshop she didn’t any attention to what I look at and what I like, even didn’t give any suggestions.

And then yesterday, just after my shoes wore out, I told myself I’ll buy one with my own money, but I have to wait, because my salary will be delivered in the late August. And now, I don’t need my mum any longer except the room and board. Damn my family.

June 10, 2006                                                         still rainy

Big day! The first day of the 2006 world cup begin. And the first day I got a surprising news that I cannot face immediately, though I pretended to be calm and in sense. But I’ m not calm at all at the bottom of my heart! Really a tough experience! Woman, a kind of an animal can leave sth very easy as they came at first. I finished my C-program course this semester, and at the same time, I finished my love, at a unprepared moment. Just before she said to me, I saw her determination. And I also realized her purpose. Can I make it up to her? Probably not, just before her well prepared words, I did lots of things, wrote down sth to show me as before, published her so-called suffering and experience to the public, exactly, all the people she wanted to tell. Yes I did sth sorry to her indeed, but we just stay together to harm each other. At no time we can make compromise with other and cannot bear each other’s weakness, both of us said we would correct ourselves to hurt less, however, each time we said, each time we fail.

Not any more I can say at this moment, I just want her to come back, but I can do nothing but keep silent, this morning our Spoken-English teacher asked weather we were boyfriend and girlfriend, I said yes—without any doubt, but she cannot feel that unfortunately, 12 hours later she said to me that we were not boy and girl friends any longer…….. what can I say? I was intending to tell my parents about her and bring her to my friends, but? Can I still make my this naïve dream come ture? God know only……………

I’m tire………….but I still did not give up, why her? Why was her gave up first?—the one who I thought was the more perseverant. Maybe I just overrated her. HOHO~~

6^th June 6, 2006                                                       rainy

The weather has turned into its normal way――heavy rain again. I’m still sitting in front of my computer to write down this diary when other classmates had their class. But today the lesson was Business English. I felt so guilty to quit my lesson again. This morning I got up at 7:20, the earliest time I got up after the TEM-4, I packed my schoolbag carefully, planning to attend all the lessons this morning, but after the intensive English lesson, I changed my mind, more or less due to the class’s atmosphere, I have no mood to have classes any more. Then I went back to my dorm again to do my homework—the difficult one, Marx Philosophy. But now maybe class is over and I only finished two. Okay, everything is going well. Tomorrow is the test for high school student—the examination for entrancing college. I wish here that all the people I know can be all right.